“If it saves one child, it is worth it!” I can not even count the number of times I have heard that phrase. The whole problem here, though, is NO children are being saved at all, instead far more are being put in danger because of improperly judged and outdated risk-factor information.
As a society we are failing our children and ourselves on so many levels. There has been so much intervention by the government into the lives of our families, that many parents actually fear setting boundaries for, or disciplining their children. By default many children now have their parents in the palm of their hands.
Playing outside is a memory from the past, as so many children are immersed in the virtual world, or are cautioned by their parents about the “widespread” danger of predators lurking behind every tree. Following in the same footprints, they are also being warned that imminent danger also exists at every level on the internet. Time after time they are told to “watch for predators” but are not actually taught who the real predators might be. They are NOT informed that the behavior of their peers can be deemed predatory.
They are bombarded with sexuality from every type of media, yet are expected not to be curious, let alone mimic any of what they are exposed to. Young girls are challenged to dress like older girls (or women) and look “hot”. Young boys are basically taught that to be a man is to flaunt their sexual prowess with as many “women” as they can. Yet the myriad of laws now on the books regarding sexual “crimes” (more than 200 and growing rapidly) doom these same children, from tots to teens, (if caught acting out) to life on the registry, with NO hope for the future.
They (and society) NEED to realize that once they are on the registry their life will be beyond difficult. They WILL be banned from society in a very real way. The reality of the restrictions imposed on them will nullify any chance of a normal life, regardless of what their juvenile “offense” was.
The list is endless and the impact on their life will depend on where they live. A few examples include: no housing within a certain distance of schools, daycare centers, churches, etc. (up to 2,500 feet in some areas); no higher education (their status must be registered and reported, leading to high rates of drop outs, or being driven out); no career (even minimum wage jobs are severely limited) because most employers face having their businesses boycotted if they “dare” hire a registrant. A number of states also impose bans against offender use of parks, pools, beaches, etc.
Above all, the human need for love will be thrown in their face at every turn. After all, what decent human being would willingly enter into a relationship with one of “those monsters”? If by chance they do manage to find someone to love them, that love will be tested over and over again. Many times, the registry or the effects thereof, will be the breaking point in that relationship, no matter how strong that love may be. I must reiterate, no matter what their crime was, as the registry, in societies eyes is all encompassing, with each registrant considered worthy of a bullet between their eyes.
The original purpose of the registry was to keep track of dangerous predators so that society (particularly children) could be safe from victimization. The sex offender registry in its beginning had a noble purpose, which has evolved from law enforcement monitoring a small percentage of repeat offenders to a widespread collection of first time offenders, non-sexual crimes, misdemeanor offenses and sadly a large segment of children as young as 7 years old, who for the most part are on public display. What could a seven year-old possibly do to end up on the registry, you ask. It is fairly simple, what used to be considered normal childhood exploratory behavior, or what many have termed “playing doctor” is a registrable offense. Not only that, but it is an offense against a minor, which under many circumstances dooms that child to life on the public registry, the very same treatment reserved for adults who rape or molest children. This same premise applies to older juveniles, effectively punishing them for life for youthful indiscretions.
The next fallacy that we are faced with is that the public registry is “just a list”. This implies that it is simply regulatory, when in all actuality, it is indeed punitive, not only to the ex-offender, but also to his family and others close to him. This reinforces the reasoning that public shaming serves only to ban undesirables from society, rather than rehabilitating people and allowing them to become productive members of society, relegating them to becoming a burden to society indefinitely.
My final thought on this issue is this: Is this the world you envisioned for your child when you brought him/her into this world? I think not. The parents of many of the children and young adults on the registry looked into the face of their equally innocent and beautiful infant and never dreamed for one moment that their child would one day be doomed to the registry for no good reason. Changes need to be demanded to stop the path of destruction we have paved, not only for our children and ourselves, but for the future of our country.
Very well done; needs to be sent to every legislator in America.
Very well done! I know many on the registery are young imature men18 or 19, , dating a younger girl (probably the same maturity level) who the girls parents got mad at for whatever reason and turned him in for statutory… it is so sad! Very not fair consequenses. The list should be only for the depraved preditors!
This also brings up a valid point. The success of families is going to make or break us as a country. While I’m an advocate of abused children and believe they are our cherished future, many horrible crimes or abuse of a child can be fostered back into a loving family even the very ones that hurt them. But it takes qualified and committed health care professionals to help foster appropriate behavior. It requires tough love. Compassion. Repentance. Restituition. Acceptance. Family and community support. And accountability. From not only the offenders but the community, legislators, MEDIA. Shunning a population of ANY individual especially once their crime has been punished for will be the demise of this country and a burden to so many others including innocent victims.
How many times have we seen others judging, isolating, even murdering those that are on a “list” when they faced and paid for their crime? Too many to count.
You are also right about how much access our children have to the Internet. It is so easy for these children that are curious about sex and find many demoralizing pictures by accident or see it on TV. Or the music and “family prime time shows” that continually desensitize our children. The values of chasity and virtue are no longer a priority, causing it to become easier and easier to seek new thrills to stimulate their senses and curiosity. Which of course is easily accessed. Our middle schoolers have iPads but if an inappropriate picture is taken because of a careless act (or basic curiousity) forwarded to their buddies and if deemed by anyone to be inappropriate is a federal offense now worth a minimum of 20 year prison term and the forever sex offender label. Just as you stated in your article without the hope of a decent college education or job or loving meaningful relationship. Tell me what is the outcome of these lives going to be like? What about the next generation? What does this say about our community our nation? It’s crumbling at its very core.
More support and accountability from many levels including the media, legislators, mental health care providers are required. Not “labels” ostracizing. People that do stupid things and make mistakes deserve the chance to make it right and have a second chance. The success of that chance requires again the support of a loving family, community. Often those that have offended were not in a healthy mental frame of mind. Or perhaps faced abuse themselves. But we continue to cut back mental health. There are so many issues that a community or a village is required to work together to solve these issues.
Thank you, thank you, thank you! very well-written and it speaks the truth!
If they want to save children, why aren’t they pushing for gun control?
FRFSO, gun control will not save children. It is as simple as that. If you will look back through the shooting incidents that have occurred in schools, the actual problem was mental issues, yet our government continues to cut mental health programs. Not a single shooter was in their right mind. Taking the guns from registered owners will not solve that problem. Do you serously think that criminals who own guns are suddenly going to gather and turn in their weapons?
A great deal of preventative education and parental supervision are the only chance our children have in any situation.
As the mother of a “registered citizen”, I adore your posts. My son’s alleged offense was not of the “Romeo & Juliet” variety, nor did he view online material. He was accused by his pregnant fiancee, ten years his senior (that made her age 38), of rape. Although she claimed later “this was a mistake”, it was a mistake which he will never forget, as he is now incarcerated. I appreciate your posts and your giving voice to a part of me which is very wounded and hurt and fearful. The more I involve myself in this issue, and learn about statistics, recidivism and ever more repressive, fear based, idiotic laws — the more other comrades like you keep me going. Sex offender recidivism rates are in the low single digits, the vast majority of child sexual abuse (which inflames everyone) is perpetrated within the child’s own family or close social circle, and creating a marginalized underclass makes no one safer — these have become my mantras. “If it saves one child” is the biggest hoax perpetrated on the American public in my lifetime. I might just make a tattoo of it.
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Sex offender lists should either be done away with or parsed down to only the worst rapists and pederasts.
You and I agree wholeheartedly on that! Thank you for your comment.